Air Force One twin Scares NYC

Ok this is what we all saw on the news.

Everyone is pointing a finger at someone else for the lack of information on the NYC fly-over-photo-op of Air Force One.

This is what we were supposed to see.

I believe it was a FAILED test flight of the newest version of the presidential aircraft. The "Stealth-Hybrid" version (see "Area 51" photo below of the planes side by side).

The information contained herein is classified "TOP Secret", so please don't share it with anyone. I understand that the first thing engineers needed to accomplish was to install the hybrid energy system. The Air Force One Hybrid uses more than 2,000 lead-acid batteries in a parallel hybrid team with its four regular jet engines. That means that the plane's engines rely on a combination of fuel and battery power to operate, making them work more efficiently and silently when necessary.

To keep the plane from relying on fossil fuels, Air Force One Hybrid's engines use a flexible fuel system. Every day, a special team collects used cooking oil from the White House, the Capitol building and other government-owned commissaries to be cleaned and reused as bio-fuel. In a pinch, and for areas where bio-fuels aren't readily available, jet fuel can still be used.

The government has had a hard time keeping the project classified. "There were so many people working on it, thankfully, it looks just like the regular version of the plane from the inside" said one White House official, "and the stealth technology hides the mint green Nike stripe over the longest "rainbow" sticker ever made on the outside, otherwise it might have gotten leaked prior to yesterdays mishap" (the rainbow sticker was added after Iowa became the 3rd state to legalize gay marriages and since Nike sponsors all AF1 events, the swoosh was manditory).

To make room for the massive numbers of lead-acid batteries that it takes to generate power for the aircraft engines and Klingon inspired cloaking device, something had to give.

One of the aircraft's two galleys, or in-flight kitchens, had to be removed. The plane still has an on board pharmacy, communications systems, self-defense systems and a soft-serve frozen yogurt and topping bar. Unfortunately, I understand they had to have the bowling alley removed, but have made room for a table-top basketball court instead.

While I would like to take credit for uncovering the real truth behind the failed NYC mission, I can't. Much of the information contained in my explaination has been used without permission from howstuffworks.com and boeing.com.

On it's way to NYC the 747 was seen as a distorted "mirror-like" blob in the sky over Portsmouth, VA! (over and "OUT").