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October 24, 2010

Coming OUT 2010

I have written and reposted things in the past that truly epitomize the way I feel about my life today. This is a repost of exactly one of those things.  Since this is the official month of "coming out" I remind those that have not made it to this side of the closet, It gets better:

"I have met a number of people since coming out that have always been out, and what I mean by that is that they have lived their lives as homosexuals (hopefully I don't need to define that), yet they choose to hide their identity from the rest of the world. That is, they live in something that closely resembles "the closet" and describe themselves as "straight acting" and not into the gay scene. I have news for these folks. You are not gay! You are just homosexuals!

If we don't let the world know that we exist, (that we shop at the same supermarkets as they do, that we attend the same religious venues, that we park our car next to theirs at the mall, that we serve their meals to them when dining out, that we are their favorite performers and artists, that we are the people that answer the phone when they call our company for help), then we will never gain their trust and respect. We know who we are, and it's our responsibility to enlighten the rest of the world. It's our responsibility to help them understand that what we want is nothing more than what they want. We will never win the battle on equal rights by not allowing them to see us (and know us) as we are every day.

What I say to the "straight acting" homosexuals out there, that are embarrassed or uncomfortable to be gay and proud is: BE PROUD this month and let someone know (maybe just ONE person) who you really are, and what it is you really want! Unless all you want in your life is just sex behind closed doors without an open caring relationship to go along with it!

ps: I am a MAN that likes a MAN and if I offend anyone by using the term "straight acting" I apologize..."

Over and TOTALLY "Out" from Portsmouth, VA

October 23, 2010

Editor's Pick? Be Careful what you wish for...

I woke up this morning, not unlike any recent morning, to the smell of freshly brewed coffee at 6:05am. Michael had already been up for a few and was good enough to start the java before heading out to the front porch for his morning smoke.  Our morning routine is fairly predictable.  Coffee, smoke, and laptops on the front porch (fans in the summer, and heater in the winter). Our porch is truly an extension of our living room and this morning was no exception...

Anyway, I manage most of our finances so I log in to our banking websites, download the necessary files, check the balances, etc... Then check emails, check facebook for any unintentionally missed birthdays or events, and finally check my blog.  While checking things out here, I noticed a spike in traffic so I checked the stat-counter to find a large number of recent "came from" visits were from a url "gaydemon.com/blogs/".  Now before any of my family or friends of the "straight variety" goes to visit that site (which I will create a link to, at the bottom of this post) I warn you, it has other reviews, links, and photos that may be quite offensive (including homosexual sex scenes) and definitely not suitable for younger viewers...  After checking this unfamiliar site out, I discovered that my blog is featured as (one of many)  "Editor's Picks".  

Here is the review for those that may wish not to visit the site:

"My New Life is a blog that eschews sensationalism in favor of common sense talk about life, work, software, Richmond and Portsmouth, Virginia and being gay - in no set order. The spirit of honesty and of general humanity is very much alive in this fulsome and really quite spirited blog written by a person who is laid-back, caring, and far more interesting than he makes out. By this time in this well-established blog, Tom Rimington meanders just a bit but he does indeed dwell on connecting with family as a gay man, speaks of his relationship with his living partner and he generally carries the wisdom which 55 year old men who have already had a family can offer. This is a somewhat rare specimen - and he has quite a few visitors per day who will testify to that. While there is no sensationally sexy stuff in here - no horny photo's, no shots of young studs in briefs - there is a gay sensibility and a supreme amount of gay pride which it benefits us all to see enacted and lived by such "high-character characters" as this. Tom brings a maturity to a zany world - a world he actually avidly participates in and just as obviously enjoys."

All I can say is WOW! I am flattered and humbled that someone took the time to read through enough of my babbling to extract this interpretation of my writings. Thank you! Oh, and by the way, I like to refer to my age as 39 with 16 years of experience (not 55),  we gay bloggers have to protect our reputation and image!

Speaking of image, here is the link to "The GayDemon Blog Editor's Pick page". Where you go from there, is totally up to you and your web browser...

Over and "Out" from a chilly morning on the front porch, here in Portsmouth, VA

October 22, 2010

President Obama on "It gets better"...



This is the man I voted for two years ago...  Maybe there's still hope...

Over and "Out" from Portsmouth, VA

October 20, 2010

Gay Research...

A fellow associate at my old store has gone back to (Graduate) school to get an advanced degree (go for it KR!)... One of her papers is on Homosexuality and she has asked if I would participate by answering some questions for her research. Here are the questions and my responses:

1. When did you first notice having homosexual feelings? 
A: I think I have always known.. But if I had to put an age on it probably around 8-9, I just had no idea what it was called.

2. How and when did you come out to yourself? 
A: I started coming out to myself in my mid to late 20’s… Remember, it was the early 1980’s and being gay was not as accepted as it is today. The process took years.

3. How and when did you come out to others? 
A: The first person I ever “outed” myself to was my 2nd wife, before we got married. She asked me to marry her and I explained my situation to her. I did not truly come out to the rest of the world until 2005, it was my 50th birthday present to myself.

4. What were the first reactions you got from others? 
A: Most were very “stand-off-ish” after being told. I found out who my true friends were immediately. My youngest son and one of my brothers still do not talk to me.

5. Did their reactions change over time? 
A: Some did, most did not…

6. How did your family react?
A: Most were tolerant, very few accepted me.

7. How long did it take for you to start dating others of your gender?
A: Hahaha… About 10 minutes!! No, seriously I had already dated and had sex with other men earlier on in my life. But more so on the “DL”.

8. Have you encountered discrimination because of your sexuality? What types? 
A: Not to my face, but I have suspected it both professionally and personally.

9. Have you ever been favored in any way due to your sexuality? 
A: Yes, when selling… Gays and women seem to like to work with gay men.

10. Do you know of other homosexuals who are afraid to "come out"? Do you feel the need to "out" them involuntarily? 
A: I know of some yes… No I would NEVER out someone else…

11. How do you feel about the issue of same sex marriages? Homosexuals in the military? 
A: Civil Marriages between humans should not be limited in any way, nor should anyone’s right to serve proudly in the armed forces.

12. What groups and/or people (if any) helped you deal with the process of accepting your homosexuality?
A: Other gay friends helped some, but it was ME that accepted me…

I love enlightening other people... I know she would appreciate anyone else responding to the same questions as a comment here...

Over and "Out" from an overcast day in Portsmouth, VA

ps: You may want to add whether you are part of the GLBT community, or are a Straight Supporter (or not).

October 19, 2010

It Does get BETTER! Pass it on...



This is a great video message and here is another:



Pass either on if you know anyone that is questioning their life's value...

Over, "OUT", and BETTER...  From Portsmouth, VA

October 15, 2010

Purple on October 20th



On October 20th, 2010, I will wear purple in memory of the 7 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes or at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what I’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools. RIP Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Billy Lucas and Cody J. Barker. You are loved. Please show your support for the families and all those affected by these awful tragedies due to prejudice, discrimination, hate, and homophobic behavior.


Over and "Out" from the less than purple community of Portsmouth, VA

October 5, 2010

Life and Times, Born That Way...

I am grabbing a post from my blogging friend Geoff, over at "Life and Times of a Gay Guy".  It's not that I don't have my own views on the subject matter, it's more that he says it better...

"I have no experience being Italian, Jewish, Female, Blue Eyed, or Left-handed. So if I were to mount a public campaign against....let's say left handed people telling them I knew for certain they were not BORN left handed, but instead chose the sick immoral lifestyle of using their left hand predominantly...wouldn't you think I was insane?

Would the goal of my argument be to convince lefties to be righties? Or would it simply be a transparent effort to convince others that lefties were of the devil, reprobates or "less-thans"?

Why do political candidates and religious leaders even receive airtime with this drivel?

Let's step out of the crazy box for just a second and imagine some of the current crop of nuts like O'Donnell and Paladino, and the whackadoodle from Nevada get elected, because like it or not, it is a possibility. O'Donnell's campaign is picking up speed and Sharon Angle for all her batshit comments might look like a longshot but she hasn't been stomped in the dust like she should have been from the get go. So IF they get elected...what influence will they have on policy? What will life be like for their constituents? What will it be like for US when that kind of thinking becomes acceptable and spreads to OUR neck of the woods? 

The pathetic rhetoric of 'gays weren't born gay' may be laughable to you and I...but if it is allowed to be repeated and repeated and repeated...we may just find ourselves in a very familiar struggle all over again. 


When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out"

Over and "Out" once again, from Miami, FL

October 4, 2010

Welcome to MY-YAM-EEE (Miami):...


It's hard to believe that I called South Florida and Miami home (on and off) for 30 years...  What's even more difficult to believe is that Miami, (Miami-Dade County), continues to develop and sprawl out towards the everglades. Where once stood U-Pick tomato and strawberry fields, now stand Condos, Strip Malls, Wal-Marts, and the lot...  North Kendall Drive (SW 88th Street), which was once difficult to navigate, now has another lane with twice as many cars trying to claim passage...

Someone recently asked me if I would ever move back to Miami...   I have a standard response for those people...  "ONLY TO VISIT"...  The area is multi-cultural and a great place to spend a few days to absorb the sights and sounds.  But after that, I prefer a smaller town/city to a big one.  I will never complain about traffic in Virginia again...

Over and "Out" from Sunny MY-YAM-EEE

October 3, 2010

Meeting Tristan for the First Time:



This is my grandson Tristan and me holding each other for the very first time, today in Miami...