June 20, 2008

Open Book

There are so many times I wish I could be more like some of my friends. That is, keep my feelings and happenings in my life to myself. It would certainly eliminate the embarrassment, rejection, and being taken advantage of sometimes...

Then I rethink. I am who I am through a process of choices I have made for fifty-two years. I am an open book because I choose to be that way. It saves me a lot of explaining down the road, it saves me from having to back paddle (like so many of my friends seem to have to do) after being caught in an "untruth". It saves me from having to explain my "bitchiness" or "happiness" when I am in a bad mood, or a good one (respectively). I refuse to live my life with "shields up" all the time because someone has taken advantage of my openness. I learn the lesson (good or bad) and move on...

Another part of this is the old "empty promises" syndrome... Don't promise someone you will never hurt them if you know yourself well enough to know it's impossible. Don't promise or tell them that you are "in love" with them if it's just "in lust", an infatuation, or a passing fancy. Don't promise them you will help them out, when you decide the relationship is not worth working at any more, if you have no intentions of living up to it.

In short, I kind of like me the way I am. I have never promised something I didn't make good on, never hid how I really felt about something, and just wish more people could be the same way. It would make life so much easier to understand for all of us...

That's it for today, Over and "out" from Chesapeake, VA

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