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August 31, 2014

The Next Day... (Alcohol - Part Two)



"Tommy, you're not an alcoholic/addicted so long as you can: 1) Not drink for one full day out of a week... 2) Not drink for one full week out of a month... and 3) Not drink for one full month out of a year..." - My Mother

I was well beyond the above when, in May of 2013 (just over 8 years since the first), I had my second heart attack and three additional stents added to my collection. 

Weeks off and on, to and home from work over the next few months took a toll on my attendance record. My anxiety attacks returned leading to periodic depression. Truth is, during that time I truly believed I (and my family) would have been better off if I had not survived.

One day in October Mike stopped drinking... Three weeks later he moved out. While we had pretty much just a house-mate type of relationship, we were friends and I was happy that he was moving on with and sobering up his life... I haven't talked to him since...

After several weeks of living alone, I rented out the guest room to a very nice (very straight) guy to help with the finances. It was nice to have someone there that appreciated the space for him and his sweet golden lab Max. Our schedules were pretty much opposite of each other until Thanksgiving when I lost my job due to the above mentioned attendance issues. Life in the place I called home in Portsmouth, for almost 5 years, was about to end. Yet the drinking continued...

I sold off everything I could to continue paying the rent and utilities while trying to find another job but ultimately, by mid January 2014, realized I couldn't keep my landlord at bay any longer. I talked to my #2 son about moving in with him, his 3 kids and their mother down near Gainesville, FL... They welcomed the idea with open arms. And the drinking continued...

By the first week of February I had packed what belongings I could, into my car (leaving the rest), and drove down to High Springs, FL to start all over again. The first thing I bought (with the limited funds I had) when I got there was an 18 pack of beer (in cans no less)...

Jobs in north central Florida were not that plentiful and neither was the length of my Virginia unemployment benefits. The day came that I couldn't afford to buy a beer...

So I didn't... and the cycle ended...

There's more to come my friends... Stay tuned for more of "The Next Day"...

Over and "Out" on a beautiful Sunday here in Richmond, VA

August 30, 2014

The Next Day... (Alcohol - Part One)



In an attempt to make sense of the past year I need to backtrack a bit and fill in some blanks. I think the best place to start is with alcohol and the affects it had on and around me...

When Mike and I first met back in January of 2009 I knew that he liked his Malibu and Cranberry... I also knew (from my past) that under the right circumstances I used an overindulgence of Miller Lite (yes, I know, most beer enthusiasts do not consider Lite to be a real beer...  In my defense however, as a proud gay man, I did only buy it in bottles) to cope with stressful situations. 

During the first couple of years of our relationship there was little to no stress other than we both worked retail and rarely had the same days off. The invisible "elephant in the room" was that during those days off we both began drinking in excess. It grew worse over the years to come. It started to affect me and my work. I began making irrational decisions about my career and as a result of those poor choices, lost my job.

Job searching became a career in itself for me. My life had evolved into filling out online applications, watching hours of TV, not getting out of my flannels, not showering or taking care of our home or myself, collecting unemployment, and of course drinking even more heavily... 

While I knew the drinking was impairing my judgement at times, I blamed most of my excess and problems on Mike, as his days off were spent drinking right along side of me. I let that ugly "blame" creature take away any respect I had for Mike and the relationship eventually nose dived as a result. It was HIS fault, not mine (or so I convinced myself as I still drowned my self-pity in daily 18 packs of liquid courage)... 

In January of 2013, over a year and a half after I lost my job, I got hired as a technical support rep for our local cable service. I was ecstatic that I landed the job and looked forward to proving myself with them and working my way up the ladder. My schedule wasn't bad (I worked 5pm to 2am) and I had two days off in a row (Tuesday and Wednesday). Life was going to be great for Mike, Mr Lite, Mr Malibu, and me. The relationship had pretty much ended by then but we remained friends and house-mates... 

Stay tuned for the next episode folks... It only gets __________ (fill in the blank)!

Over and "Out" on an overcast day, from Richmond, VA


August 29, 2014

I am ALIVE!




Yes, you heard me right... I am going to take some time and try to make sense of the past year through putting words to paper (so to speak) on the happenings and why I stopped writing in general.

For those of you that may still have a link to "My New Life", I thank you! I still actually get little deposits from the ads in here every now and then and every nickel counts these days.

So here it is, the end of August 2014 and I have returned to the originating city of this page, Richmond, (Virginia) over eight years since it's inception. I made a few zigs and zags (and misguided choices) to get here but couldn't be happier to return.

Over the next few weeks I will chronicle my travels...

Over and "Out" once again from Richmond, VA (the RVA)!

November 4, 2013

Since March 2013 (November 2013)



I can't believe I have been away since March of this year... I periodically read older posts of mine just to make sure my memory hasn't faded too much... Which, I'm afraid it may have...

I was notified today by one of the "ad" services I use here that they needed a valid account to send my earnings to... I have never received a dime for any of my gay-banter posted here and was shocked to hear they had $100 to send me. I am fine with an extra "Ben Franklin" being sent my way, but I also realized I had not posted anything here since March of this year... Bad Me!

Some of my blogging friends follow me on my Facebook page and know, but for the rest of the folks that follow me here, here are a few updates:

April 2013: I was revisited by the "widowmaker" and had my second heart attack. I am doing fine and have 3 more stents added to the two originally placed in 2006... Almost bionic but not quite...

September 2013: A year after the passing of my first wife (to the day), my niece gave birth to Penelope Rose, shortly after my other niece gave birth to her daughter Kinley Elizabeth. Welcome to all the new family gals...

October 2013: Finally realized the "relationship" I was in was not healthy for either of us and asked Mike to leave... After he moved back to Richmond, I found a neighbor to take Ubu...

November 2013: Living alone until I can find a financial roomate, shouldn't take long...


Hopefully I will come back here and post something periodically... But until then, I am:


Over and "Out" from Portsmouth, VA


March 24, 2013

Seven Years Strong



I can't believe I missed my own Blogoversary... Seven years for "My New Life" and eight for my "Cardiac Event", wow time has certainly flown by...

The hint (above) shows a group of my company's mascots. Some of you may recognize "Digi" and some may not. We service different regions of the country but the tag line is "Your Friend in the Digital Age" and I am proud to be part of this company...

After eight weeks of training, tonight was my first night in "production". My schedule is 5:00pm to 2:00am, Wednesday through Sunday. It will be a challenge to get my body to cooperate with the change, but the growth potential is well worth the sacrifice. The people are wonderful and now that my cubicle has been properly disinfected and cleaned, I feel right at home next to the 2nd floor window...

With my schedule as it is, I hope to post here on a much more consistent basis, so for all of you that have stuck with me for these seven years thank you and hang in there, there is more to come...

Over and "Out" from Portsmouth, VA 

February 2, 2013

Groundhog Day 2013


Guess what everyone?


Yep, that's right... I'm going to try to get back into posting things here...

I finally re-established myself in the land of the employed and couldn't be happier. The company that chose me is awesome (I will probably reveal the name after I get through the 90 day probationary period) and has been on scored 90-100 over the past several years on HRC's Corporate Equality Index... 

While going through orientation this past week, one day was dedicated to "Creating an Inclusive Environment" and wouldn't you know??? I kinda "outed" myself to the whole class...

We had a healthy discussion (the instructor was very engaging) going on about the "N" word (after one black gal had a hard time using the word "white" when referring to us white folks). Another black guy stated that he didn't mind being called the "N" word if it was used in conversation by another person of color... Before my brain engaged, I said "I totally understood" and while I have never used the "N" word, I felt the same about the words FAG or FAGGOT... For some reason, I don't mind the word if it comes from a fellow gay, but if it is used by a straight person, it bothers the heck out of me...

What are your thoughts?

Over, "Out", and back online from Portsmouth, VA

November 12, 2012

Taking a Break...



It's probably obvious already to some, but I have temporarily lost my writing "thingy". I guess with trying to get back into the workplace, I kind of feel potential employers may be "googling" my name and finding this.

While there is nothing posted here (in the past 7 years) I am ashamed of, I just need to eliminate a potential offense to some unknown future employer...

I am going to leave things up for a bit, but block all access/deactivate in the short term.

For those who know me (or of me) personally, Facebook is your best bet to keep in touch... Thank you all for following along with me on my journey.

Over and (temporarily) "Out" from Portsmouth, VA