June 30, 2008

Pride 2008

This picture is from Kelly's Blog and will stay at the top of my page through the month of June. It is a challenge of sorts to see how many people post it, and how far it travels. Copy and paste it to your page and "gay it forward" by adding a unique story about your "gayness"! Oh and don't forget to let me or Kelly know where you posted it, he is keeping track...

Current posts follow this entry:

Rather than post a "coming out" story, mine is more a "Living Out" story. Click here to go to it.

June 29, 2008

Last Post for Gay Pride Month

I have posted other YouTube Videos with THIS SONG (by Scissor Sisters)... But here is the original (how gay can you get?):

Over and "Out" from Chesapeake, VA

June 28, 2008

4 Minutes of Madonna and Justin

Ok... Madonna and Justin... Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock... Definately worth posting during Pride Month.

both ROCK!
Over and "Out" Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock... from Chesapeake, VA

June 27, 2008

Big Gurls Don't Cry...

I was feeling a little blue this morning... And then I ran across this on youtube...

Two of my favorites, "Army Wives" and Fergie!
Over and "Out" from Chesapeake, VA

June 26, 2008

Gay Pride or Rainbow Flag?

The gay pride flag, which made it's debut at the 1978 San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day Parade, was designed by Gilbert Baker. It's inspiration came from the black civil rights and hippie movements. The original flag had eight stripes from top to bottom: pink, red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, indigo/blue, and violet. Within a year, the flag had shed two of its stripes—pink and turquoise. According to Gilbert, they "ran out of pink dye." and the turquoise stripe was later taken out to create an even number of stripes on the flag.
Each color on today's gay pride flag (also known as the rainbow flag) has a different meaning. Test your knowledge below.
RED = Life
ORANGE = Healing
YELLOW = Sunlight
GREEN = Nature
BLUE = Harmony
VIOLET = Spirit

Adding a black stripe to the bottom of the flag represents victory over AIDS. It can also signify leather daddy pride.

June 21, 2008

A Statement set in Stone...

A great friend of mine from South Florida sent me this image today. He was sure I would appreciate it and was equally sure Kelly, over at "Rambling along in Life" would like it too. I got it first this time Kel... but feel free to copy if you'd like, and thank Joe from Ft. Lauderdale FL for passing it on to us!

I think it speaks volumes for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"...

Over and "Out" from Chesapeake, VA (and thanks Joe!)

June 20, 2008

Open Book

There are so many times I wish I could be more like some of my friends. That is, keep my feelings and happenings in my life to myself. It would certainly eliminate the embarrassment, rejection, and being taken advantage of sometimes...

Then I rethink. I am who I am through a process of choices I have made for fifty-two years. I am an open book because I choose to be that way. It saves me a lot of explaining down the road, it saves me from having to back paddle (like so many of my friends seem to have to do) after being caught in an "untruth". It saves me from having to explain my "bitchiness" or "happiness" when I am in a bad mood, or a good one (respectively). I refuse to live my life with "shields up" all the time because someone has taken advantage of my openness. I learn the lesson (good or bad) and move on...

Another part of this is the old "empty promises" syndrome... Don't promise someone you will never hurt them if you know yourself well enough to know it's impossible. Don't promise or tell them that you are "in love" with them if it's just "in lust", an infatuation, or a passing fancy. Don't promise them you will help them out, when you decide the relationship is not worth working at any more, if you have no intentions of living up to it.

In short, I kind of like me the way I am. I have never promised something I didn't make good on, never hid how I really felt about something, and just wish more people could be the same way. It would make life so much easier to understand for all of us...

That's it for today, Over and "out" from Chesapeake, VA

June 18, 2008

Time to Change

I remember this:

Maybe a little goofy, but Pride and change go hand in hand.

Over and "Out"!

June 17, 2008

Red Ribbon Wings

I saw this image on a guy's profile and thought it was extremely cool!
It's my Friday again! Over and "Out" from Chesapeake, VA

June 16, 2008

Smoke or Storm, what a choice...

We have been experiencing an unusually high number of days blanketed in smoke this month. After returning from my vacation in Cape Cod, I thought I had caught a cold or something, as my throat was scratchy, eyes watery, and nose was stuffy... It would come and go though, so I was at a loss for the cause until the first day the smoke appeared as thick as a dense fog. Well, it happened again today. As I drove to work I noticed how nice the day was turning out and about halfway through the morning I began smelling smoke (inside the building). I walked to the front of the store to look out the windows and could barely make out the buildings of the mall, less than 2 blocks away... This is a picture of the Portsmouth Naval Medical Center, taken from across the Elizabeth River, in Norfolk:

Apparently the Great Dismal Swamp and some other areas of northeastern NC have had several fires over the past couple of months, and the fires have ignited the peat floor of the quite dry swamp. The experts are saying that the only way the fires and smouldering peat will be put out for good will be by a tropical depression, storm, or hurricane moving through the area. When the wind doesn't blow from the south, the smoke stays in the extreme southern parts of VA and into NC. There was a code "Purple" air quality advisory posted for northeastern NC last week, I have never heard of a code "Purple" before...

All I know is I'd like it to be gone, without having a named storm come though and quench it!

Over and "Out" from sunny, hot, and smokey Chesapeake, VA

June 13, 2008

My Weekend

Ok, so not a true "weekend" by must people's definition, but my weekends are Wednesday and Thursday each week. I ran into an old friend in Richmond last week (actually an old bf) and invited him down. He got here Wednesday evening, and we went to the Garage, then Mixers for a couple of beers and some food...
On Thursday he gave me the grand tour of Norfolk and Virginia Beach. He used to live down this way so knew all the right places to go, new and old. We had a great lunch down at Rudy Inlet (in Va Beach) and headed back to my place. He had to get back up to Richmond to take his Mom to a hair appointment...
What a great friend, and what a great weekend...
Over and "Out" on my Monday, here in Chesapeake, VA

I'm Voting Republican?

Once again, my blogidol Kelly Stern has posted something that I must steal. Make sure to watch to the end, through the credits:

I'm Voting Republican? NOT!

Over and "Out" from Chesapeake, VA

June 12, 2008

Obama's Statement on Pride '08

By Jamie Citron
CHICAGO, IL -- Senator Barack Obama today released the following statement commemorating Pride month:
"I am proud to join with our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered brothers and sisters in celebrating the accomplishments, the lives, and the families of all LGBT people during this Pride season. Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans.
"It's time to live up to our founding promise of equality by treating all our citizens with dignity and respect. Let's enact federal civil rights legislation to outlaw hate crimes and protect workers against discrimination based upon sexual orientation and gender identity or expression. Let's repeal Don't Ask,Don't Tell and demonstrate that the most effective and professional military in the world is open to all Americans who are ready and willing to serve our country. Let's treat the relationships and the families of LGBT Americans with full equality under the law.
"We are ready to accomplish these goals because of the courage and persistence of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people who are working every day to achieve equal rights. The gay couple who demand equal treatment in our family laws as they raise their children; the lesbian soldier who wants nothing more than to serve her country openly and honestly; the transgendered workers who asks for the simple dignity of being judged by the quality of their work. Generations of LGBT Americans, at once ordinary and extraordinary, have made possible this moment in our history. With leadership and hard work, we can fulfill the promise of equality for all.
"The Obama for America campaign is proud to be actively participating in over 60 local and state wide Pride events over the summer. To find the events nearest you please visit

June 10, 2008

Gay? or just another Homosexual?

I don't understand some people. I came out late in my life and when I opened the closet door I didn't walk out, I FLEW OUT! Tearing the door down on my way. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life and also one of the most honest. I announced to the world that I was gay and proud to be that way.
My own personal statement:

I have met a number of people since coming out that have always been out, and what I mean by that is that they have lived their lives as homosexuals (hopefully I don't need to define that), yet they choose to hide their identity from the rest of the world. That is, they live in something that closely resembles "the closet" and describe themselves as "straight acting" and not into the gay scene. I have news for these folks. You are not gay! You are just homosexuals!

If we don't let the world know that we exist, (that we shop at the same supermarkets as they do, that we attend the same religious venues, that we park our car next to theirs at the mall, that we serve their meals to them when dining out, that we are their favorite performers and artists, that we are the people that answer the phone when they call our company for help), then we will never gain their trust and respect. We know who we are, and it's our responsibility to enlighten the rest of the world. It's our responsibility to help them understand that what we want is nothing more than what they want. We will never win the battle on equal rights by not allowing them to see us (and know us) as we are every day.

What I say to the "straight acting" homosexuals out there, that are embarrassed or uncomfortable to be gay and proud is: BE PROUD and let someone know this month who you really are, and what it is you really want! Unless all you want in your life is just sex behind closed doors without an open caring relationship to go along with it!
ps: I like a man that is a MAN and if I offend anyone by using the term "straight acting" in the wrong context, I apologize...

June 9, 2008

Heat Wave

It was 101 degrees in Norfolk yesterday. Norfolk is about 6 miles from where I live and work, so my guess is that it was just as hot here. I worked all weekend and was comfortable in the air conditioned world.
This high pressure area off the coast is finally supposed to move off and give us some more seasonable temperatures, just in time for me to be off on Wednesday and Thursday... I have been told about a nice beach up in the Ocean view area of Norfolk and may just go check it out..
Over and "Out" from Chesapeake VA

June 6, 2008

Fate or Faith?

I had an interesting discussion the other night with a new friend (they say never to discuss, money, politics or religion on a first date... "rut-row")...

I am a staunch believer in "fate" (as I have mentioned previously in "My New Life"). It doesn't mean that I don't have "faith" it only means that I subscribe to the theory that everything happens for a reason, and that our lives are pre-destined. I was also trying to explain my own interpretation (in a very, possibly too, analytical way) of the GOD I believe in...

Let's start from the beginning. Look at the following two images and their similarities:

The first is a beautiful image of our Solar System with the planets all lined up (which rarely happens in real life). The second (the copyrighted black and white) is of Atom Activity... Again all I ask is to compare similarities in the above and now these two images:

The first being a Hubble image of Galaxy Clusters, the second an image of a cluster of Atoms.

Now to my theory:

What if we are nothing but small specs of organic debris on one of the electrons of an Atom? What if that Atom is actually part of a molecule of a cell of tissue, of something much larger? What if that "something" is in fact "GOD", the source of our destiny? Our pre-determined fate?

Now, if in fact we are all of the above, and the galaxy and universe are nothing more than clusters of things just like us and the object we call earth, what possible good would praying have on the outcome of anything?

My thought? Praying makes us feel good, it makes us feel that we have some control over our own destiny, and that of others we care about.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

June 5, 2008

Intimacy, Fact or Fiction?

The words "Intimacy and Intimate" have been used by a few of my friends and acquaintances, quite a few times over the past six weeks or so, both in what someone is looking for and why a relationship fails. I thought I knew what the words meant, but decided to Google them anyway. Here's a part of what I found:
Definitions of intimacy on the Web:
. Familiarity: close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy"
. Affair: a usually secretive or illicit sexual relationship
. Closeness: a feeling of being intimate and belonging together; "their closeness grew as the night wore on".
. The meaning of Intimacy varies from relationship to relationship, and within a given relationship. Intimacy has more to do with shared moments than sexual interactions. Intimate feelings may be connected or confused with sexual arousal.
. Is the basis of friendship and one of the bases of love. It may take several forms. The main ones are emotional intimacy and physical intimacy.
Definitions of intimate on the Web:
. Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity; "intimate friend"; "intimate relations between economics, politics, and legal ...
. Cozy: having or fostering a warm or friendly and informal atmosphere; "had a cozy chat"; "a relaxed informal manner"; "an intimate cocktail lounge"; "the small room was cozy and intimate".
. Familiar: having mutual interests or affections; of established friendship; "on familiar terms"; "pretending she is on an intimate footing with those she slanders".
As I said, I thought I knew what the words meant (and I did for the most part)...
In which context DO YOU?

June 4, 2008

Obama '08


Time to take a vacation Hillary!

June 3, 2008

Gay Friendly? Tolerance or Acceptance?

I got an interesting email from an ex-neighbor yesterday. Through the process of breaking with Jim, we have tried to maintain a friendship, but it has been difficult at times. She, her husband, and son have been good friends to both of us and were always, what I considered, accepting of both Jim and me, and our relationship. They were Jim's friends first, so I decided that I would distance myself from them while I worked myself through the "stages of grief", especially those days that I had nothing nice to say about Jim. I did not want to put her in the middle of any ugly words that might have flown from my mouth after a few beers...
Well, apparently Jim has shared with them some of the conversations I had, and have had with him since moving out, regarding what belongs to whom, and also financial issues. I am not going to spell it all out here, but let's just say with my obligations from my previous life I have always lived very close to the belt, financially. Jim has always made more than I have, and was always very clear to state that so long as I took care of my obligations and shared in the household expenses, he would ALWAYS take care of the rest... So, in one of my conversations with him, after leaving everything (including things I purchased for OUR home) except those items I brought with me when I moved in 2 years ago, I let him know that I should be OK financially, but I also expected him to be there for me IF for some reason I needed help.
Her email to me said that Jim owes me nothing... and I quote "That part is what I don't agree with. He shouldn't be handing out his money to anyone. He's done that way too much. He works hard for his money".
I responded: "You and your husband have been legally married, if you were to part ways, do you think you deserve anything? Money? Property? things? Jim and I were for all intents and purposes married... We decided to join forces and create a life for and with each other... Whether I (or Jim) choose to ask for things from each other is between us. You say he doesn't owe me anything, he owes me 2 years of my life back, just as I owe that to him... For you to say he doesn't owe me anything, would be like saying your husband wouldn't owe you anything... Unless of course, you feel a gay partnership has less meaning than your marriage does, and how hypocritical would that be coming from the best friends of this gay couple?"
Her last response was: "OK, I am not going to try and answer your question. (our relationships are) TOTALLY different."
I guess she told me where she stands on gay rights! And she is from Vermont!

June 1, 2008

Living Out Story

We all wonder at times why we are, what we are, and who we are. I have always considered teaching to be one of the more honorable professions and even considered going back to school to pick up a teaching degree. That said, it never happened. What I did realize not too long ago, is that I am teaching every day. Through my openness, compassion, and ability to articulate, I teach my fellow humans every day about being gay. I teach not tolerance, but acceptance. Recently an associate of mine came to me and said "Tom, I just don't get it" referring to being gay and what it is that we wanted. After considering the circumstances, I used the best analogy I could. This was a middle aged black man making the statement. My response centered around the equal rights movement of the 60's. I explained that all "we" wanted was what everyone else wants. The right to love whomever we choose, the right to make binding agreements that are recognized and honored by all, and acceptance by our fellow humans. I likened our plight to that of his own, and reminded him that it wasn't long ago that African Americans were treated with a similar stigma. I looked at him and said "I don't expect you to understand why it is that I can fall in love with another man. Just like you should not expect me to understand what it is like to be a person of color. Regardless of our inability to feel each others' feelings, we need to accept each other and respect those differences to make life work in this world". I was so proud of myself, and still am. I have no idea where the words came from, but he "Got IT", shook my hand and told me what a pleasure it was to know me... What else could I possibly need or want?