March 21, 2011

My First Ever MeMe...

I see blogging friends do these periodically. I have always read them but rarely felt the urge to copy and answer for myself. I guess it finally dawned on me that answering could actually help someone else that may be going through something similar to my past. Also, sharing experiences is part of being out. So here goes:

Name: Tom

Country: USA, Virginia, Portsmouth

Age: 55 

How old were you when you first realized you were gay? I was young, probably 12 or 13 when I realized I was different (there was no way for me to know what it was called). 

Do you have more gay friends or straight friends? I have a healthy mix of friends, I’d say 50/50.

Biggest turn on? I’d say a nicely defined, moderately furry chest and an outgoing personality.

Biggest turn off? Drama, closed-mindedness, and a furry back.

Ever been harassed due to your orientation? Harassed, no. However I do believe the fact that I am gay has played a role in the decisions made by my company.

Have you ever been surprised at the reaction of people who know you are gay? Not really. 

What is the worst gay stereotype? A Flamboyant, sex driven, Drama Queen. 

Are you a stereotype? Hell to the NO! 

Ever been to a pride rally? Yes, and will continue to. 

Do you go to gay bars? Yes, more so when I first came out. 

How old were you when you first told someone you were gay? My late 20’s. 

Did you plan it? If so, how? Yes, my relationship with my soon to be wife, was getting serious and she had the right to know before investing any more time or energy in me. 

What made you choose that person to tell? I could talk to her about anything. 

How did you feel? Surprised that she still wanted a relationship with me (we got and were married for 17 years). 

Have you ever been snubbed by someone after coming out to them? Yes, one of my sons, and one of my brothers. 

Have you come out to your family? Yes. 

Why did you come out at that point? Was separating from wife and had to explain to rest of family. 

Are you out at work? If not, why not? Yes, Out at work. 

Have you been outed unwillingly, who did it? No. 

What does being out mean to you? Living truthfully with myself and sharing my whole self with others. 

What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Do it on your own terms and do it for yourself. 

If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? Hindsight is so much clearer. No I would not. I have 4 great children (adults now) and a beautiful grandson. Why would I want to change a thing?

Thanks for reading...
Over and "Out" from Portsmouth, VA


Nick said...


Buddy Bear said...

Well done! It's great that you did this. Actually, your story resembles resembles mine quite a bit, except that you are years ahead. I hope I have a happy ending like you!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story. Godspeed to you!

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