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May 9, 2011

Mothers Day in Absentia...


Four years after coming "out" to the world (and my kids) in 2005, my two youngest children lost their Mom (see post here) to breast cancer that metathesized into her bones... I will never try to compensate for their loss, as I could never replicate the feelings they had for their mother... I can only be there for them when they want or need me.

Yesterday was one of those times. Michael had gone up to Charlottesville Saturday to watch his son's baseball game, then stayed with his Mom in Richmond overnight. We planned an outing for Sunday for all the Mom's on his side of the family at Islamorada Fish Company, at the Bass Pro Shop in Ashland, VA.. Not knowing what my youngest's (daughter's) plans were, I invited her to join us (and the 5 collective Mom's attending) for the event. She accepted...

I had to work Saturday, so I drove up Sunday morning, picked up my daughter, and headed up I-95 to Ashland. We all had a grand time, although with almost 20 people at the table it was difficult for her (or any of them) to really get to know each other very well. (note to self: smaller gathering next time)...

Everyone was capturing the multi-generational event with their cameras, yet this is the one I liked best:


She is so much like her Mom (although her Mom would never have tattooed her arm like that) she is definitely "her own person" and I love her for that... (another note to self: invest in some anti-aging serum for those wrinkles)...

While I can't replace her Mom, I am so glad I got to substitute for the day...

Over, "Out", and so proud... back home in Portsmouth, VA

11 comments:

Nick said...

thats a wonderful pic :)

jaygeemmm said...

It is a wonderful picture, Tom! Even with the tat! I'm sure your lovely daughter had a great time, and hopefully the number of moms there helped make up for the loss of her own.

Peace <3
Jay

Buddy Bear said...

Beautiful picture (and I mean both of you! You must be very proud of your family.

the cajun said...

Great pic, of both of you. Proud, and rightfully so.

Tip: Don't tell anyone...old fashioned Nivea cream (blue jar, not the water-based stuff) used by my grandpa daily, (he was a fisherman, crabber, and shrimper) kept his skin from getting leathery, dry and wrinkled.

Always out with him on the water, I began using it when I was around 10 years old. There is truth in the mantra "moisturize, moisturize, moisturize!"

Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

Thanks all... Nick: Is my youngest not a treasure? Jay: I know she likes the tats, I just keep trying to remind her to keep them above her shirt sleeve. Buddy: thanks I sometimes don't feel very photogenic... caj: I grew up on boats and love nivea (blue) but think my hands and face are beyond help sometimes...

Tarina is about 'works' said...

Hey Tom, I enjoyed reading this post although it does have some harsh realities with it..I am sorry to learn of your children loosing their mom..actually, I had forgotten of this marraige and the children untill Daveeda enlightened me..I always liked you Tom and the more I read your blogs the more I remember why..you are such a nice guy! I am not shy or ashamed to say that I do not agree with your 'lifestyle' but that does not keep me from seeing that you are a very good person, you are funny, and even with the wrinkles..cute! All four of your children (there aren't others I have forgotten are there, lol), and now your grandchildren are blessed to have you in their lives!
Tarina :)

Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

Tarina... Your post is very profound, as is your comment here... I read it more than once or twice so that I might comment with an understanding of where it comes from. I don't apologize for abandoning "Organized Religion", You know I was raised Catholic and you should also know that it was very hard for me to "come out" to myself and others... You should never feel bad about my "lifestyle" I am not evil but God made me this way (as he/she made millions of others). I tried to conform to my (religious) upbringing but finally had to be honest with myself. Yes I married 2x and have 4 great kids, I wouldn't change that for the world... But, at 55 years old I am totally happy and being honest with myself, my family and my friends... I appreciate your personal view of my "Lifestyle" but even more, I cherish your friendship, as I have cherished your's through the years...

Love to you and your's ALWAYS!

Anonymous said...

I dont mean to offend you, but maybe I am ignorent. You have children, yet you say you are gay. Wouldnt you be bisexual then, if you obviously were attracted to women at some point in your life?

Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

Anonymous:

No offense taken, and thanks for the comment. I suppose that during the time I was married I labeled myself bisexual, but only as a way to try to understand myself and my situation. As I matured (read grew older) I realized I was only fooling myself.

I have not had sex with a woman in almost 6 years (and that was with my wife)... There is definitely a sliding scale of sexuality and labels only confuse them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your response. So you were attracted to your wife? My wife recently told me that she is a lesbian, and has never been attracted to me during our 10 years of marriage. Im sorry if the question is personal, but Im trying to figure out my situation.

Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

Anonymous:

I can't possibly tell you how to react to your situation... If you have never thought about sex with another man, I assure you that you are on the straight end of the scale:

Straight <<<<<<< BI >>>>>>> Gay, each < or > being a little more towards that inclination... Very few people are at the extremes...

My wife was the center of my universe for more than 15 years. When I told her I was bi/gay (before we got married) it didn't matter to her, as she had the same "urges" or "feelings"... She would never have given up everything to "come out", but after loving her for more than 20 years I did... I had to. I was going to flip out if I didn't...

It was never her fault, never a matter of love or trust, it was ME... I was stressing myself out to the max, and if you have read any of my earlier posts, you'll see that the stress caused my heart attack back in 2005...

It was a decision I made, and while it cost me lots of friends and family, I had to do it...

Please feel free to email me directly if you need clarification or just someone to talk about it to...

Tom

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