October 12, 2011

Choice or pre-disposed genetic variation?....

I was chatting with a man online today. He described himself as a bisexual cross dresser. I understand the bisexual part. I think that every person is sexually attracted to the same sex in some way (say on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being almost exclusively attracted to the opposite sex and 10 being almost exclusively attracted to the same sex). The person's choice (yes I said choice) to act on their personal (genetically predisposed) attraction to the same sex as a sexual partner, is totally based (I believe) on their upbringing and where they fall in that scale. For people on the low end of the scale they may never act on that attraction, while people on the higher end of that same scale may never act on the opposite.

My upbringing as a practicing Catholic fooled me into believing that acting on the same-sex desires that I had all through my young life, was wrong or sinful. I did act on them periodically but always felt dirty and sinful afterwards. I pretended for years that I was near the bottom of that 1-10 scale, got married two times (to women), and have four great children as a result of my religious beliefs (and those marriages). I do not regret any of that especially knowing that I was not the only one to stifle those desires for a same sex encounter or relationship.

Now for my point (as vague as it may seem to be), I have dressed up a total of three times in my life, as a woman. The first was when I was 9 or 10 and I dressed up like Aunt Jemima for Halloween. The second time (also for Halloween) was as the "Church Lady" from SNL in the early 80's. The last time was as Lady Gaga last year for a neighbor's Halloween party (yes the photo above was me, not the real Gaga). I am a pretty open-minded guy, but for something other than a Halloween "scream", why would any man think he would be sexy or attractive to another man if he was dressed as a woman? Personally to me, I am sexually attracted to men that are MEN (not that I don't like a good Drag Show)...

I guess the whole point of this post is:  Is Cross-dressing (not Transgender or Transsexual) a choice? Or is it too, a pre-disposed genetic variation of our species?

Just wondering what others might think...

Over and "Out" on a rainy day, from Portsmouth, VA USA


the cajun said...

Wow! Sinead O'Connor on Steroids!!!

Hope to see you in that get-up at the Sea Witch weekend here at the beach. ;-)

Jay M. said...

I think cross-dressing is a choice. but it can be a huge choice. I went to the Miss Gay Virginia Pageant some years ago, and then almost outed myself to someone that I really didn't want to when we discovered we were both at the show. She said her co-worker was one of the contestants and he spent two full days getting ready - shaving, waxing, doing up the wig, he certainly made a good looking woman, but I was happier with my man friends. So I dunno, Halloween is quite different than doing it as a "way of life".

Peace <3

JustAMike said...

Tom, I agree - I don't understand the fetish side of cross dressing.

As for drag queens, I see them as something completely different and have developed a new appreciation for them after I met one in real.

I know he works damn hard as a performer and I now "get" what he and his fellow queens do.

Jay M. said...

@JustAMike: Yeah, that's how I view them now that I've seen them in action!

Peace <3

T said...

My goodness. I didn't know that was you in the photo. I thought that was a real woman. I don't understand cross-dressers either. But, again, a lot of people don't understand why I love a man, though I know, in my heart and my mind, that it's 100% right for me.

Bill Dameron said...

Good question. I have an acquaintance who dresses in drag when he goes out on the town, typically in Ogunquit, Maine. Not just any old drag, but to the nines, with glitter, feathers, etc. He is an unassuming guy, but when in drag you cannot miss him and I think that is why he does it.

As for men being attracted to men in drag, when I was in Bangkok, there was a class of prostitutes called "lady boys", basically young men who looked exactly like women and it wasn't the gay guys that were hooking up with them.

To each his own. That's what makes life so interesting. We are myterious creatures.....

N!LoC said...

c'mon!!! u can do a better version of gaga than THAT!!!

u actually look like a borderline kim basinger/ drag "queen of england"

(giggle giggle)


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