The Next Day... Part Two... (Alcohol)

"Tommy, you're not an alcoholic/addicted so long as you can: 1) Not drink for one full day out of a week... 2) Not drink for one full week out of a month... and 3) Not drink for one full month out of a year..." - My Mother

I was well beyond the above when, in May of 2013 (just over 8 years since the first), I had my second heart attack and three additional stents added to my collection. 

Weeks off and on, to and home from work over the next few months took a toll on my attendance record. My anxiety attacks returned leading to periodic depression. Truth is, during that time I truly believed I (and my family) would have been better off if I had not survived.

One day in October Mike stopped drinking... Three weeks later he moved out. While we had pretty much just a house-mate type of relationship, we were friends and I was happy that he was moving on with and sobering up his life... I haven't talked to him since...

After several weeks of living alone, I rented out the guest room to a very nice (very straight) guy to help with the finances. It was nice to have someone there that appreciated the space for him and his sweet golden lab Max. Our schedules were pretty much opposite of each other until Thanksgiving when I lost my job due to the above mentioned attendance issues. Life in the place I called home in Portsmouth, for almost 5 years, was about to end. Yet the drinking continued...

I sold off everything I could to continue paying the rent and utilities while trying to find another job but ultimately, by mid January 2014, realized I couldn't keep my landlord at bay any longer. I talked to my #2 son about moving in with him, his 3 kids and their mother down near Gainesville, FL... They welcomed the idea with open arms. And the drinking continued...

By the first week of February I had packed what belongings I could, into my car (leaving the rest), and drove down to High Springs, FL to start all over again. The first thing I bought (with the limited funds I had) when I got there was an 18 pack of beer (in cans no less)...

Jobs in north central Florida were not that plentiful and neither was the length of my Virginia unemployment benefits. The day came that I couldn't afford to buy a beer...

So I didn't... and the cycle ended...

There's more to come my friends... Stay tuned for more of "The Next Day"...

Over and "Out" on a beautiful Sunday here in Richmond, VA

The Next Day... Part One... (Alcohol)

In an attempt to make sense of the past year I need to backtrack a bit and fill in some blanks. I think the best place to start is with alcohol and the affects it had on and around me...

When Mike and I first met back in January of 2009 I knew that he liked his Malibu and Cranberry... I also knew (from my past) that under the right circumstances I used an overindulgence of Miller Lite (yes, I know, most beer enthusiasts do not consider Lite to be a real beer...  In my defense however, as a proud gay man, I did only buy it in bottles) to cope with stressful situations. 

During the first couple of years of our relationship there was little to no stress other than we both worked retail and rarely had the same days off. The invisible "elephant in the room" was that during those days off we both began drinking in excess. It grew worse over the years to come. It started to affect me and my work. I began making irrational decisions about my career and as a result of those poor choices, lost my job.

Job searching became a career in itself for me. My life had evolved into filling out online applications, watching hours of TV, not getting out of my flannels, not showering or taking care of our home or myself, collecting unemployment, and of course drinking even more heavily... 

While I knew the drinking was impairing my judgement at times, I blamed most of my excess and problems on Mike, as his days off were spent drinking right along side of me. I let that ugly "blame" creature take away any respect I had for Mike and the relationship eventually nose dived as a result. It was HIS fault, not mine (or so I convinced myself as I still drowned my self-pity in daily 18 packs of liquid courage)... 

In January of 2013, over a year and a half after I lost my job, I got hired as a technical support rep for our local cable service. I was ecstatic that I landed the job and looked forward to proving myself with them and working my way up the ladder. My schedule wasn't bad (I worked 5pm to 2am) and I had two days off in a row (Tuesday and Wednesday). Life was going to be great for Mike, Mr Lite, Mr Malibu, and me. The relationship had pretty much ended by then but we remained friends and house-mates... 

Stay tuned for the next episode folks... It only gets __________ (fill in the blank)!

Over and "Out" on an overcast day, from Richmond, VA

I am ALIVE!

Yes, you heard me right... I am going to take some time and try to make sense of the past year through putting words to paper (so to speak) on the happenings and why I stopped writing in general.

For those of you that may still have a link to "My New Life", I thank you! I still actually get little deposits from the ads in here every now and then and every nickel counts these days.

So here it is, the end of August 2014 and I have returned to the originating city of this page, Richmond, (Virginia) over eight years since it's inception. I made a few zigs and zags (and misguided choices) to get here but couldn't be happier to return.

Over the next few weeks I will chronicle my travels...

Over and "Out" once again from Richmond, VA (the RVA)!