August 30, 2014

The Next Day... Part One... (Alcohol)

In an attempt to make sense of the past year I need to backtrack a bit and fill in some blanks. I think the best place to start is with alcohol and the affects it had on and around me...

When Mike and I first met back in January of 2009 I knew that he liked his Malibu and Cranberry... I also knew (from my past) that under the right circumstances I used an overindulgence of Miller Lite (yes, I know, most beer enthusiasts do not consider Lite to be a real beer...  In my defense however, as a proud gay man, I did only buy it in bottles) to cope with stressful situations. 

During the first couple of years of our relationship there was little to no stress other than we both worked retail and rarely had the same days off. The invisible "elephant in the room" was that during those days off we both began drinking in excess. It grew worse over the years to come. It started to affect me and my work. I began making irrational decisions about my career and as a result of those poor choices, lost my job.

Job searching became a career in itself for me. My life had evolved into filling out online applications, watching hours of TV, not getting out of my flannels, not showering or taking care of our home or myself, collecting unemployment, and of course drinking even more heavily... 

While I knew the drinking was impairing my judgement at times, I blamed most of my excess and problems on Mike, as his days off were spent drinking right along side of me. I let that ugly "blame" creature take away any respect I had for Mike and the relationship eventually nose dived as a result. It was HIS fault, not mine (or so I convinced myself as I still drowned my self-pity in daily 18 packs of liquid courage)... 

In January of 2013, over a year and a half after I lost my job, I got hired as a technical support rep for our local cable service. I was ecstatic that I landed the job and looked forward to proving myself with them and working my way up the ladder. My schedule wasn't bad (I worked 5pm to 2am) and I had two days off in a row (Tuesday and Wednesday). Life was going to be great for Mike, Mr Lite, Mr Malibu, and me. The relationship had pretty much ended by then but we remained friends and house-mates... 

Stay tuned for the next episode folks... It only gets __________ (fill in the blank)!

Over and "Out" on an overcast day, from Richmond, VA

1 comment:

Bob Slatten said...

First off, welcome back.
Secondly, thanks for being brave enough to share your story ... I look forward to the coming parts.

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