I have met a number of people since coming out that have always been out, and what I mean by that is that they have lived their lives as homosexuals (hopefully I don't need to define that), yet they choose to hide their identity from the rest of the world. That is, they live in something that closely resembles "the closet" and describe themselves as "straight acting" and not into the gay scene. I have news for these folks. You are not gay! You are just homosexuals!
If we don't let the world know that we exist, (that we shop at the same supermarkets as they do, that we attend the same religious venues, that we park our car next to theirs at the mall, that we serve their meals to them when dining out, that we are their favorite performers and artists, that we are the people that answer the phone when they call our company for help), then we will never gain their trust and respect. We know who we are, and it's our responsibility to enlighten the rest of the world. It's our responsibility to help them understand that what we want is nothing more than what they want. We will never win the battle on equal rights by not allowing them to see us (and know us) as we are every day.
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When I am shopping with my other half, I am frequently surveying the landscape for unfriendly eyes. For anyone unfamiliar with gay experience, I am referring to the judging glances, stares, and scowls from complete strangers who cannot mind their own business while we are looking for ripe tomatoes, a new CD, hair conditioner, and any other mundane items. Although I feel pretty safe (living in one of the so-called best places for Gays as declared by The Advocate), it always runs through my head that someone in the grocery store or bookstore could decide to make one of us the next Teena or Matthew.
But that does not stop the pride. The mixed messages and judgments of society are a weight on mine and every other gay person's shoulders, but perseverance is the name of the game.
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