I should have known today was going to be difficult. I woke up this morning with a real strange feeling in my gut. I had a 10:00am appointment with my therapist and I couldn't help thinking about the choices I have made over these past several months. While I know the choices were the right ones, I couldn't help but feel the pain I caused others by making them. I teared up several times in his office during my session. I have never done that before. I realized I miss talking to my wife and younger children (17 and 19) too.
I came home after my session, to find a summons hanging from the knob on my front door. I have always known that it was possible that my wife would want to divorce, I just guess I never expected that it would happen. Appearantly, in her eyes, I have deserted her and my children, without cause. The papers make me sound so cold and evil in the legaleze they are written in:
"The defendant has withdrawn from the marital relationship, has told the plaintiff that he is gay and no longer wishes to be married to the plainfiff, has abandoned the marital residence, and has committed acts which constitute both constructive desertion and abandonment"
Wow, I would tar and feather anyone that had done this to anyone I cared about.
Now, rather than giving my wife financial support to help pay the mortgage and/or take care of the expenses around the house, I have to pay an attorney to represent my interests too (less for her and less for me).
I still love her. I always will.
I have made the choice to not be with her, and now I pay the emotional and financial piper.
Til next time.....